Author: Christa Melnyk Hines

Are holiday traditions, parties, volunteer commitments and shopping turning you into a frenzied ringmaster of a runaway circus train? For your sanity and for your health, put the brakes on the holiday rush. Here’s how. 1. Make a not-to-do list. Consciously leave a few activities off the program this year. Ellie Griffin, a feminine vitality coach, says this is one of her favorite ways to reduce holiday stress. “I love having my clients do this exercise because it makes them realize how much of what they do doesn’t have an effect on the big picture of their lives,” she says. 2. End a tradition Let go of rituals that are more work than fun or are no longer meaningful. Attempting to turn the holiday season into the greatest show on earth could put your health at risk. According to the American Psychological Association, chronic stress can weaken your immune system, making it harder to recover from illness, and can cause heart disease, obesity and depression.  3. Catch your Zs You perform better when you’re well-rested. Strive for seven to eight hours of sleep, which can help you cope better with stress. “Poor sleep habits keep you jittery, irritable and feeling like you’re just dragging yourself around,” says Rosalie Moscoe, author of Frazzled, Hurried Woman! Your Stress Relief Guide to Thriving...Not Merely Surviving. 4. Choreograph the chaos Organize your shopping trips. Ask for help from your significant other. When possible, buy gifts whenever you’re already out running errands. Make shipping presents a breeze by purchasing some online. After pounding the pavement, reward yourself with dinner out, pizza delivery, or a glass of wine by a cozy fire.  5. Clown aroundDuring the holiday rush, try not to schedule every free moment. “By pursuing pleasure in her life, a woman can not only enjoy a more fulfilling life, but in the process increase production of oxytocin, a hormone crucial to lowering stress hormones,” Griffin says. Go through your calendar and block out 15 to 30 minutes each day to do something just for your personal enjoyment, like a manicure, lunch with a friend, yoga, a nap, or reading a book.  [[image1]] 6. Juggle lessPlanning, cooking, cleaning and entertaining can test even the most talented acrobat. Host a lighthearted appetizer party instead of a serious dinner soiree. Choose menu items that can be prepared ahead of time or have the event catered to make it easier for you to enjoy the festivities along with your guests. 7. Rely on your safety net “Ask for help! Get your family to help with cleaning up at home. Or, if you can, hire a cleaning person,” Moscoe says. “Take a break, be kind to yourself. There will always be something to finish––that’s life!” For casual parties, prepare the main dish and ask your friends if they can bring side items or desserts.  8. Revel in the moment Duck out of the buzzing fluorescent lights and long lines. Take an evening stroll to breathe in the cool December air and admire the holiday lights illuminating the streets. Allow the movement to calm your mind without further stressing your body. [[image2]] 9. Feed yourself rightHunger and exhaustion can bring out the tiger in anyone. Eat wholesome, good-mood foods with protein for energy. “Don’t bring extra cookies or chocolate into the house in advance of the holidays,” Moscoe says. “This will make you cranky, tired and cause fluctuations in blood sugar.” 10. Plan for surprisesKeep tricks up your sleeve for managing those last-minute gift exchanges. While running errands, purchase small gifts that you can stash. And go ahead and store those extra cookies in the freezer for drop-in visitors. 11. Simplify decorIf holiday decor makes you sweat, swap time-consuming and expensive lights and ornaments for homemade decorations. Try making luminaries with your kids. Draw a star or tree on a paper lunch bag. Punch holes into the design and fill the bag with sand. Place battery-charged tea lights inside the bags and line them up on your porch or driveway. 12. Focus on the magicCarefully consider what makes the holidays special for you and your family. Ask your kids, too. Their answers may surprise you. Perhaps they’d like to try building gingerbread houses this year, or maybe they want to spend a toasty evening in their pajamas drinking hot chocolate and watching seasonal movies.Most of all, resolve to bring your holidays from over the big top to just right for you. Even one small change can make all the difference between anxiously counting the days until the show is over to living in the moment while celebrating more peace and joy with your family this season. Freelance journalist Christa Melnyk Hines is the author of Confidently Connected: A Mom’s Guide to a Satisfying Social Life. Her circus includes her strongman husband, two children who love to clown around, and a pair of entertaining mutts.

During this month of Thanksgiving, don’t forget our military service members. Many organizations and veterans groups offer ways to help support and show gratitude to members of the armed forces. Help a veteran, a deployed service member, and military families know that you appreciate their sacrifices. Here’s how:1. Help an expectant military momNothing relieves a soldier’s worries than knowing his family is supported back home. Operation Top Knot, an organization started by college student Audri Cid in 2003, is a nationwide network of individuals who sew, knit and create gift baskets to support new and expectant mothers whose husbands are deployed. To donate baby blankets, diapers, bottles, clothing and other items, visit http://soldiersangels.org/Operation-Top-Knot-Team.html. 2. Write a letter Remind veterans and their families that you’re thinking about them and appreciate their commitment to our nation. Write a letter to a deployed soldier, a wounded warrior, or a veteran who has served in past wars through OperationGratitude.com, or a military family through Operation Appreciation, sponsored by Blue Star Families, www.bluestarfam.org. 3. Support their furry friends Raise money to go toward fostering pets of active-duty service members, wounded warriors and homeless veterans. Guardian Angels for Soldier’s Pet (https://gafsp.org) is a non-profit organization that finds qualified foster families to care for pets while soldiers are deployed or when military families transfer overseas. The foster families also care for pets whose warriors have died.  4. Contribute to Paralyzed Veterans of AmericaThis organization supports veterans who suffer from a spinal cord injury. Participate in one of the organization’s sporting events or fundraisers, make a monetary donation, or collect and donate bags of clothing, shoes, belts, hats, books, CDs and small household goods. For more information, visit www.pva.org. 5. Assist disabled and wounded veteransVolunteer at your local Veterans Affairs (VA) hospital or help disabled veterans with running errands, doing yard work, or assisting with transportation. Contact www.dav.org for more information. Also, check out the Wounded Warrior Project for other ways to help injured service members. 6. Help them call home Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) supports and assists military veterans and their families through a variety of programs, including Operation Uplink. The program enables service members and hospitalized veterans to make free calls back home to loved ones for three days each month. Go to www.VFW.com to find out how you can make a donation. 7. Aid service dogsPatriotPaws trains dogs to serve disabled veterans. You can volunteer to help the organization by bathing and walking dogs, running errands, or fundraising. For more information, visit www.patriotpaws.org. 8. Clip couponsDon’t toss your expired coupons! Military families stationed overseas can use coupons for up to six months past the expiration dates. Visit www.supportourtroops.org/troopons to find out where to mail your coupons. 9. Donate BooksConsider supporting Books for Boots, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that collects new and gently‑used books, movies, music CDs, puzzles and craft items and distributes them to injured recruits, active‑duty military and veterans nationwide. Visit: www.Books for Boots.org. You can donate items (books, DVDs, CDs, puzzles, crafts) via drop‑off or mail‑in, and the group sends these as care packages or entertainment bundles to military facilities and veteran rehab centers. Their mission: “When someone donates an item … it’s a heartfelt way of saying, we see you, we appreciate you, and we care about you.” 10. Send a sweet surprise Instead of letting leftover Halloween candy go to waste, consider donating it to the Treats for Troops campaign by Soldiers’ Angels. This program collects excess candy and distributes it to deployed service members and veterans across the country, offering them a small but meaningful treat from home. Learn how to donate or become a collection site at soldiersangels.org/treats-for-troops 11. Teach kids to honor veteransHelp children understand the meaning of Veterans Day through engaging, age-appropriate activities provided by the Wounded Warrior Project. Their “Honor Their Courage” program offers lesson plans, reflection prompts, videos, crafts, and writing exercises that teach gratitude and patriotism. Educators and parents can access free resources by registering at woundedwarriorproject.org/veterans-day-for-kids Veterans Day Quiz(1) Veterans Day originated after which of the following wars:     A) WWII     B) Revolutionary War     C) WWI (2) What year did Veterans Day become a national holiday?     A) 1919     B) 1938     C) 1945 (3) Which U.S. president changed the name of the holiday from Armistice Day to Veterans Day?     A) Dwight D. Eisenhower     B) John F. Kennedy     C) Franklin D. Roosevelt  Answers:1 - Answer (C): Veterans Day originated as “Armistice Day” on November 11, 1919, to mark the one-year anniversary when Germany signed the Armistice to formally end WWI. 2 - Answer (B): Veterans Day became a national holiday in 1938. 3  - Answer (A): In 1954, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed legislation to change the name of the holiday to Veterans Day, to honor all those who served in American wars.  Freelance journalist Christa Melnyk Hines, daughter of retired USAF SMSgt. Walter Melnyk, is thankful for all of our veterans and their families for their sacrifices and service.

Whether you want to become a stronger, more intuitive communicator or you’re trying to raise one, free time spent unplugged can make a big difference. Here’s why.Increased self-awarenessTime alone or unplugged helps us pursue personal interests and develop more clarity about who and what we want in our lives. That sense of self-reliance, confidence, and independence comes through in how we interact with others. We’re better able to advocate for our needs and those of others because we’ve taken time to contemplate and clearly understand those needs.Better sleepWe can’t focus on others when we’re sleep deprived. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 72 percent of children ages six to 17 sleep with electronics in their bedroom. The lights and sounds these devices emit disrupt quality sleep and can result in up to an hour of sleep lost per night. Remove electronics from your bedroom and your children’s bedrooms.More attentive connectionA 2013 study in the journal of Environment and Behavior suggests that by simply having your phone sitting on the table or in your hand during a conversation, you reduce the quality of your interaction with others. Stash your phone away during face-to-face conversation. And consider choosing one day a week when the whole family takes a “digital Sabbath,” or a 24-hour break from technology.“The Sabbath increases your ability to concentrate on cool intricate tasks, to experience and appreciate the uniqueness of particular moments, to focus more on the people around you,” writes Alex Soojung-Kim Pang in his book The Distraction Addiction: Getting the Information You Need and the Communication You Want, Without Enraging Your Family, Annoying Your Colleagues, and Destroying Your Soul. “Paying attention is critical for relationships.”Improved mental healthAttempting to engage with text messages, online interactions, phone calls, and emails in the midst of family demands can cause stress and anxiety.  “Chronic distractions erode your sense of having control of your life,” Pang says. Increase your sense of calm by focusing on one task or person at a time. And occasionally play hooky from extracurricular activities, which teaches kids that it’s OK to honor their individual needs for rest and disengagement.More play timeFree, unplugged play gives kids a chance to put their imaginations to work and try new ideas. Instead of telling them something won’t work or supplying answers to their questions, let them investigate, research ideas, and experiment with materials on their own. Multiple studies show that kids who receive regular, unstructured time to play develop creativity, self-confidence, problem-solving skills, and independence. With these skills they‘ll believe that they’re good enough without having to seek external approval, a need that is rampant in a “like me” culture.Enhanced curiosityResearchers from Brown University recently found that the more time kids spend watching TV, using their smartphones, or playing video games, the less likely they are to show initiative and complete tasks like homework. Even more worrisome, they exhibit less curiosity and interest in learning overall. Screen-free time gives us all a chance to consider questions like, what am I curious about? How can I solve a problem I’m dealing with? What brings me joy? Who could I talk to about this? How can I learn more?Richer conversationsFor many young adults, spontaneous conversation in which they can’t control their messages in a text or email feels intense or risky. According to Sherry Turkle in her book Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, some employers vet job candidates based on their ability to converse face-to-face and over the phone. Play conversation games like “What if . . . ?” or “Would you rather . . . ?” to make impromptu conversation fun and interesting. Establish sacred, unplugged spaces, like around the dinner table and in the car, to allow for spontaneous conversation. Side-by-side conversation feels less intense and gives kids the courage to broach issues that are bugging or worrying them. Grab the crayons and color together. Go on a walk. With space and uninterrupted conversation opportunities, you can listen to each other better and grow closer as a family. DID YOU KNOW? More than 70% of young smartphone owners check their device a few times  an hour or more often,  including 22% who admit  to checking it every  few minutes. Most Americans believe  they check their phones less often than they actually do. Source: gallup.com